The Update
I met with my reconstructive surgeon for the first time today since my tissue expander placement surgery on June 27, and was pleased that he thinks things are going well. The skin around the tissue expander is still very thin, and he said we will have to "take it slow" on the expansion, but overall it is definitely going in the right direction. We didn't set a date for my final surgery--much of that will be determined by how the expansion goes over the next few weeks--but it will likely be in October sometime.
The Changes
The past year has brought plenty of change, as I went from a healthy 31-year-old to a cancer patient, and now to a cancer survivor. I lost my hair, and now it's growing again (like a weed). It didn't even change color or grow in curly, it looks like it will be exactly the same as it was before. I gained weight and the change in hormones from the meds I'm on makes those stubborn pounds harder to lose. I have lost a good portion of my strength, and I'm a little bit nervous about going back to CrossFit, where I will likely be suffering through the WODs for a period of time while I gain that back. But overall I have also gained some perspective. I try to spend more time with the people I care about. I worry less about little things that might have otherwise bothered me before. I try to do what I can to make other people's days better, even if it's just in small ways.
I recently had lunch with some college roommates, and one of them went through a scary pregnancy and had to undergo surgery for a potentially life-threatening condition (fortunately mom and baby are both doing well now). We discussed how the news of your own mortality is terrifying, but at the same time it really helps you to focus on what matters. I think I have always been a pretty positive, look-on-the-bright-side kind of person, but it always helps to have a reminder that life is short and every minute should be one that lifts you up, not one that you spend bringing yourself or others down.
Another thing that has come into sharp focus is how amazing my friends and family are. I cannot tell you how many times it has brightened my day to have someone tell me they are thinking about me, praying for me, and hoping for the best. How many people have sent me messages, commented on blogs, or given me encouragement through Facebook, text, and in person. It makes a world of difference and I want to say thank you. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention Husband of the Year Nick, who has been my biggest supporter and cheerleader through the whole experience. Who never fails to make me smile, and who has always been there when I needed him most.
The Future
The best thing that has come out of the past year is my ability to look toward the future. One where I can get back to CrossFit (seriously, I'm going through withdrawals) and triathlons, where I can laugh and smile, spend time with friends and loved ones, and be thankful for every day that I get. I hope to be able to look back on this past year plus a couple of months and say "wow, what a crazy time, but I'm a better person for it."
